Military Intelligence Is An Oxymoron

When I joined the military, my father used to make fun of me for going into the MI field. He’d tell me what an oxymoron it is. Today sort of proved that statement.

Companies are required to submit a daily status report to Battalion which provides accountability of all personnel. The DSR indicates who is on leave, pass, TDY or present for duty. It provides a status for 100% of the company. After long weekends, we have to report that all personnel have safely returned from wherever they went. Battalion demands a 100% accountability report be submitted.

Now in my mind, when I submit the DSR on that Monday or Tuesday after a long weekend stating that all my personnel are accounted for it also means that 100% of my personnel are safe and sound. But, that’s the not the case. Nope, we have to duplicate our efforts and pretty much send the same report TWICE – a DSR and a 100% accountability report. Talk about fueling the fire. I’m now 100% convinced that a lobotomy is required to ascend to battalion leadership and staff positions. No wonder I only lasted two years in mine!

military intelligence oxymoron

5 Comments on “Military Intelligence Is An Oxymoron

  1. The first mental health program I worked for was a state regulated federal grant research program — I was drowning in bureaucracy.

    We had a huge meeting scheduled one day where supervisors from state and federal offices were coming to our site to “meet” with us. That day also happened to be a Monday — and it was my turn that week to put an inspirational message on a huge board in the main office. So, I wrote the following in huge block letters:

    Bureaucracy is job security for the unimaginative. — Claire

    It was promptly erased and replaced with something “more appropriate.” Shoot, it inspired me! 🙂

  2. CJ,
    I only had one actual assignment to an MI unit and I hated it. Mostly I worked in line units and EAC. It was the only assignment I had where I had to use an MFR to save my a#@. I decided then that “MI eats their young”.
    I have tried to teach my sons that a lot of people believe that if they make you look bad, then they look good. In my FA S2 job, I learned that: Just because you look good, doesn’t mean you are. If you ARE good, then you will look good.

  3. LOVE the cartoon! I don’t think it’s just the Military – I think it’s the Government, in general. We could get by quite well if we removed at least half (and probably more) of the civilians who draw a gov’t paycheck. The same work would be done if everyone worked, really worked, their 8 hours. Sorry, this is a very disorganized comment, but I worked so hard today (I don’t work for the gov’t) that I’m dead tired. 😉

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